Sake and Strippers
by Humor Queen Merc
Summary: Omake! Omake! Omake! It's a girls' night out, and anything goes, answering the age-old question, "How does Matsudaira act when she's drunk?"


Author's Notes – Hey everyone! That's right, my fingers are bored and I've got my creative juices flowing, so that means only one thing. OMAKE!!! Wai! Wai! I hope everyone likes this one, I got this idea from Schally ("The BS ladies have a Girls' Night Out.), so this one's to her. 

Rated – PG – 13 because it's a girls' night out, which mean anything and everything goes

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**Sake and Strippers – Girls' Night Out!**

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            Ryoko sat back in her chair and gave a bored sigh. The past few weeks had been incredibly boring for her and the rest of the TAC. Ryoko reflected on the year that had passed since Suzano-o had been put to rest. The TAC had had their fair share of surprises in the beginning, starting off when Koume and Yaegashi began dating, then moving on as Matsudaira's son got into a very elite middle school, and her and Kunikida's relationship went to a new level. Though it seemed like not a lot to most people, considering who was coupled with whom was quite an interesting show. Plus it was more interesting to keep up with people's love lives than to do the boring paperwork that they all had be drowning under. Looking up from the deposition that she was filling out, Ryoko looked over at Kunikida. While she loved him with all of her heart, she realized that she needed some time with the female half of the human species. 

            "We do so much work, it's like all I ever do is help him with paperwork in the morning and help him with housework in the evening." Ryoko whispered to herself as she let her eyes wander to Koume. Suddenly, an idea crept into her mind.

            "Well, it's six o-clock, you all can go home now." Kunikida said as she threw his pen onto a notepad that he had been working on and stood up. The rest of the TAC, who would become so engrossed in their paperwork that they needed their boss to tell them when to leave, all gave small grumbles and stood up to leave.

            "I hate paperwork. I hate paperwork. I hate paperwork…" Koume repeated to herself over and over again as she picked up her jacket. Ryoko walked into the center of the room, her eyes still on Koume and cleared her throat.

            "Um, Matsu, Koume, and Momiji?  Could I have a word with you please?" She said as she motioned with her head at her desk. "Alone," she added as she gave a glare at Yaegashi and Kunikida that told them to either comply or die. With a nod, both men quickly packed their things and left. 

            "I'll be waiting for you in the car." Yaegashi said over his shoulder as he closed the door. Ever since they had started dating, Koume and Yaegashi had started carpooling to work, which didn't seem to annoy either of them as Koume came in with less bugs in her teeth than when she took her motorcycle to work.

            "What's up?" Momiji said with a sideways glance,

            "Well girls, I was wondering if you were up for a night out. Just us." Ryoko said, a hint of desperation in her voice.

            "Kunikida gettin' to ya, huh?" Koume asked with a nudge,

            "I…no, that's, I, I mean…" Ryoko said with a blush, not wanting the rest of the women in the TAC to think that their relationship was on the rocks.

            "Just admit it." Koume said with a sly smile.

            "It's alright Ryoko, there were times when I needed to get away from my ex-husband and do something with some friends." Matsudaira said as she put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

            "It sounds like a great idea." Momiji said with a smile. "_I need some time off anyways from work and school." She added in her mind._

            "Let me tell Yaegashi that I'll be going with you guys tonight so he doesn't wait for me on his sorry behind all night long." Koume said with a hmph as she walked out of the room to go tell her boyfriend where she was going.

            Thirty minutes later the women situated themselves in a booth at a popular tea parlor.

            "THIS IS WHAT WE'RE DOING ON OUR NIGHT OUT?!" Koume asked as she looked at the menu.

            "Tea is quite relaxing Koume, you should learn to enjoy it more often." Matsudaira said as she ordered some green tea.

            "I agree, this is a nice way to get out and away from work and the guys." Momiji said, though in the back of her mind she made a mental note to pressure Kusenagi into taking her on a date there later on. 

            "You people are so _boring." Koume said as she stood up and tapped the waiter on the shoulder. "Cancel our order." She said to the surprise of the other women. Grabbing Momiji and Ryoko's wrists she dragged them out of the booth._

            "Come on you guys. This is our one night out away from everything! We gotta do something that we'd never get to do with the guys!" 

            "Well, there's that new arcade…" Momiji began before Matsudaira interjected,

            "No arcades. They rot your mind and waste your time!" This comment took the rest of the women by surprise, as they hadn't seen Matsudaira that passionate about anything but biology and biotechnology before. Blushing, Matsudaira regained her composer by adding, "Let's try someplace a bit more mature."

            "How about that new bar over on Shibayashine Street? I heard that they've got a contest going on tonight and the winner gets a pair of four tickets to see that music group that Momiji loves so much. What's their name again? Buttstreet Boys? Backwater Boys?" Koume mentioned as the women left the restaurant and walked down the street. 

            "Koume, you'd use any excuse to go to a bar." Ryoko said with a sigh,

            "And it's Backstreet Boys!" Momiji added with a huff. "Let's do it! Just think, if we won the contest, then we'd have four tickets to go the concert. There's four of us, so that'd make it another legitimate excuse for a girls' night out!" Momiji added enthusiastically.

            "Yeah, unlike that sad excuse you gave Kunikida. How'd it go again?" Koume mentioned as the women stopped at the end of the street and waited to cross the crosswalk.

            "Weren't we going to do some field tests on Momiji's ability to detect dead Aragami fragments?" Matsudaira asked, the silliness of the excuse causing her to chuckle.

            "Say what you want, it worked didn't it?" Ryoko said,

            "I just told Yaegashi that we were doing a girls' night out." Koume said with a sigh.

            "Did you beat up him to keep him quiet?" Ryoko asked. Koume glared at the blue-haired woman. Punching her in the arm, Koume sped up to the entrance of the bar. Walking into the place, the women each shared a collected oh and ah as they looked around. The bar was a new, state-of-the-art place, with a very clean environment and a light show that would put most rock concerts to shame. 

            "Wai! This place is so cool!" Momiji said, her eyes as big as saucers.

            "Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea, Koume." Ryoko said as asked for a table and had the women led near the dance floor. 

            "What time is it?" Momiji asked over the music,

            "Almost eleven, why?" Matsudaira answered,

            "Just because. Curious!" Momiji yelled back,

            "Don't plan on getting up early tomorrow girls! We're gonna be out LATE!" Koume said with a twinkle in her eye as she ordered four pitchers of sake. This caused all the other women to blanch and stare at her.

            "FOUR PITCHERS?!" Ryoko yelled,

            "Girls' night out! Let loose!" Koume answered enthusiastically.

            "But I'm not legal to drink!" Momiji yelled,

            "Listen Momiji, tonight we're all out as equals." Koume said as she gave Momiji an encouraging slap on the back. 

            "Ms. Matsudaira, Ms. Takeuchi?" Momiji asked, seeking approval from the two women. 

            "I see no harm if it's only once." Matsudaira said uncharacteristically, winking at Momiji.

            "Ms. Matsudaira!" Momiji shouted in surprise,

            "You know what, I'd like to let loose tonight. And I don't see the harm if you do it only once." 

            "What about you, Ms. Takeuchi?" Momiji asked. Ryoko looked over at Matsudaira and Koume, who stared back expectantly. Knowing that she was beat, Ryoko sighed.

            "What Diatetsu doesn't know won't hurt him. We'll just give you a few mints before you get home to hide your breath." Ryoko said, not believing that she was giving in. With a victorious whoop, Momiji grabbed a glass and waited for the sake to come. A few moments later it arrived, and the women all dove in, drinking the beverage like fish. An hour (and a few more pitchers) later, the women all began opening up in ways they never thought possible. 

            "You want to do _what to Kusenagi on your lab table?" Momiji asked, her speech impaired by her drunkenness._

            "Oh come on Mom-Mom-Momiji. It's not like you haven't thought anything like that before." Matsudaira retorted back in an awkward fashion.

            "Whu I wanna know is, K-K-Koume, do ever sthinks of stuff like shat?" Ryoko added laughingly.

            "Hell no!" Koume retorted as she took a swing at Ryoko's arm, missing by a mile.

            "Come oooooooonnnnn Koume, you and Yae-Yaegashwey must've done shomefing!" Momiji asked, a new bravery showing through.

            "Well, we make out a lot now, but I always remember the first time we did." Koume said with a blush.

            "YOU DO?!" The other women asked in surprise,

            "Yeah, heh, funny story, dat first time, one minute we weres twalking about machine guns and the next fwing I knew, I was on my back on da couch making out wid dat nerd."

            "You get turned on by conversations of automatic weapons?" Momiji asked as she tried to keep her balance on the stool she was sitting on.

            "'S not like you're any better." Koume retorted,

            "I once grabbed Kusenagi in the crotch by accident. You'd be surprised what happens when you do that." Momiji said as she began laughing hysterically,

            "Oh?" Matsudaira asked, her interest suddenly piqued

            "Yeah, those blades of his pop right out!" Momiji said with a giggle,

            "Oh, you think that's bad? I once walking in on Daitet-Daitet-Daitetsuuuuuuuuuuu in da bath!" Ryoko added, causing everyone to laugh. 

            "You know what's funny about showahs? I once slipped in the bathroom and got my butt stuck on da toilet." Matsudaira said, laughing so hard that tears began coming out.

            "Whud does dat haf to do wif a bath?" Momiji asked, her eyes glazed over.

            "I forgot." Matsudaira said as she shook her head. The whole table began laughing at that revelation. Suddenly, an announcer came over the intercom, shushing the crowd and stopping the music.

            "Ladies and gentlemen! It's time for our weekly contest! " The announcer said as he made his presence known by jumping onto a bar table. The crowd hooted and hollered, Momiji the loudest of them all.

            "Tonight is girls' night out! All you have to do to win FOUR BACKSTREET BOYS TICKETS is to judge a male stripping contest. Whoever's got the hottest body wins for the men, and our four judges get tickets to see the show! So who wants to go for it?" The announcer shouted. Drunk off their butts, the TAC women all shouted over the crowd, raising their hands and jumping up and down.

            "You four ladies!" The announcer said as he hopped off the table and helped the women to their judging tables. Giving each woman a pencil and a voting ballot (written in large bold letters, so as to give the drunken women a chance to focus somewhat on the names). Over the course of the next two hours, the women judged dozens of men, each one doing a little dance and blowing a little kiss at them. At one point Momiji became smitten with a man that in her mind was a very naked Kusenagi (obviously, in reality it wasn't) and got up on stage with him, throwing off her top and doing a little dirty dance. Koume and Matsudaira had to drag her off stage and (drunkenly) force her back into her chair. The hour also consisted of Matsudaira partially making out with a muscular man in his 20's and Koume spanking one of the other men and, when he retorted, caused her to punch him out. At the end of the session, the women cast their votes and a winner was decided (the most votes given to the Kusenagi-look-alike). 

Struggling to stand up, the women wobbled as the announcer hopped down beside them and yelled,

"Now judges, the only thing that you have to do to get these tickets now is to tell us what your profession is!" Holding the microphone up to Matsudaira,

"I'm a biochemist for the government." Matsudaira responded sheepishly, her face flushed. "And you're cute, wanna come over to my place?" The other women responded by laughing and telling the announcer, who was quite intrigued by the proposition, that she was only kidding. Passing the microphone down the line, he hit Momiji next.

"I'm a shtoooooooodent…" She slurred as she turned white and passed out. Koume laughed as she caught the younger girl, who a few minutes later woke up, dazed and confused.

"I'm a weapons specialist for the Japanese Ground Self-Defense Force!" Koume said as she flexed her muscles and gave Momiji's side a nudge with her foot, the dazed high school student still on the ground. Suddenly, Momiji threw up on the announcer's shoes. 

"Showy." She mumbled as she tried to stand up, and failing each time, asked Koume to help her up.

"And you miss?" The announcer asked when he reached Ryoko,

"I'm a cop!" She said enthusiastically, causing everyone in the bar to shout in fright and run for the nearest exit. Turning pale, the announcer shoved the four tickets into Ryoko's hands, shouting a congratulations as he ran towards the back. Confused as to what just happened, Ryoko, Matsudaira, and Koume picked up Momiji and hauled her outside.

"Wud time isht it?" Ryoko asked Matsudaira,

"One-thirdy in da mornin'." She responded as she hailed a cab. 

"So…much…sake…" Momiji said as she grabbed her head. 

"This was the best girls' night out ever! We gotta do this again more often!" Koume said triumphantly as she helped the other drunken women into the cab and gave the cabbie directions to get them all home. 

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**The End**

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Well, I hope everyone liked it. I had an interesting time with this one. Now that I'm done with this omake, I plan on doing another series. A much more serious one. Oh, and **_PLEASE REVIEW. I take all reviews seriously. If you're wondering why I continue writing omake's, it's because of the responses I get. And don't be afraid to give me ideas!_**


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